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Category: Fretless Foibles

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Oh, Christmas Tree…

Oh, Christmas Tree…

Sometime between washing the last pan and the first dollop of the leftover Thanksgiving stuffing, our thoughts turn from gluttony to gifting. Whether your tradition deems the verdant branches a Christmas Tree or a Chanukah Bush, let’s stipulate—for the purposes of this story–that a pine-smelling plant is the perfect antidote to winter’s dark chill. My nuclear family agrees that Christmas requires a tree.  But like a Jerry’s Deli Menu, the options at the tree lot can overwhelm my family. Annually. “How high a tree you looking for?” asks the L.L. Bean-clad salesperson – it’s LA for God’s sake, it’s 60 degrees, not your traditional flannel, down and Duck Boot type weather. Our foursome looks at each other. Then all at… READ MORE

Diamond Life

Diamond Life

You are not as privileged as I. I was born on third base – you must hit a triple to join me. Nevertheless, you are blessed. You have two parents who care about you. This alone puts you ahead of the game in our troubled world. And thanks to said parents’ foresight and your hard-work you have the opportunity to go to college where you will enjoy time among ideas and learned people who care what you think. Claim that Education.  Use it to figure out who you are and who you want to become. I hope one of the doors that opens to you during your higher education is to a passion which can evolve into a profession. Life… READ MORE

Vows

Vows

I am at the wedding reception of my husband’s friend. I know a few guests, none well. The catering is superb. While my husband catches up with friends, I delight in dining solo.  We smile at each other, content in our parallel party paths. As I stand outside — literally (it is an indoor/outdoor event) and figuratively – I indulge in my invisibility and reflect on the tradition that has gathered us at this exquisite, art-filled Bel-Air home. A marriage is more than the joining of two people and their families. It involves the awkward merging of social circles. The marriage that inspires this rare Sunday evening outing is a second one. Yet the fact that it is “Round Two”… READ MORE

Flu Fret

Flu Fret

“If you’ve got your health, you’ve got everything.” Well, then, I am lacking. I am afflicted. But so are many. My conditions are my constant companions. They’ll shuffle along this mortal coil with me for as long as I shuffle along upon it.  But there is a gift in my conditional state: my chronic ailments fortify me against the indignities of aging. When I was a child–back in the dinosaur age–there was a limited artillery in the asthma fighting arsenal. Compromised since my first wheezy breath, I was a Marax kid. (Marax shouldn’t ring a bell with many – it’s no longer manufactured in the USA because Ephedra, since banned, was an integral part of the formula.) I was a… READ MORE

Q-Tip Fret

Q-Tip Fret

Cleanliness is next to Godliness. And when this drought-conscious Californian vacations in a state with ample water, the showers are long and luxurious. I revel in this watery heaven enveloped in lavender steam with warm water pouring down from a rain-shower head. But these indulgences have consequences: annoying droplets of water that worm their way into crevasses where they shouldn’t. Like in my ear.    Happily, this is never an issue, thanks to the blessed cotton swab. They’re always there for me–on the basin at home, in a hotel bath, on a guestroom vanity.  I’m not talking about the generic, plastic tube abominations those will never sully my ears. No, my ear canals shall only be wiped well and good… READ MORE

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