28
Nov
Nov
“We love our children the best we can.” I defend the parents who did and do love me with all that they are, all that they are able to muster.
Category Archives: Tween Troubles
25
Jan
Jan
Take 10,000 steps. Daily. Lose 5, 10, 20 – a million pounds. The usual suspects line up like children waiting to be picked for a team. Go to the gym. Clean. Read more. “Doomscroll” less Waiting, like lambs to the slaughter. Find the patience to teach other family members to do the same. Organize my…….
22
Dec
Dec
God is the glue that connects us. She/He/It is the whisper in our heads imploring us to be better, to do better – to strive for excellence, to walk the path of our higher, best self. God is in the ephemeral breeze that cools, a laugh shared with a stranger, a friend’s encouraging text on…
03
Jun
Jun
I do not have the children I expected. They’re like me in ways I wish they weren’t. They express traits of their father’s that are not amongst my favorites. But, on some days I can see the best of myself and my spouse shimmer within them. I treasure those days. Even then, when I am…
26
Jan
Jan
My parents belonged to a generation that didn’t see the need to analyze and understand their union. They were a unit and I made three. I am part of a different generation. “You’re seeing the pediatrician on Tuesday,” I explain to my 12-year-old while discussing the week ahead to the soothing soundtrack of rain. “Oh,…
30
Jul
Jul
I am not a demonstrative person by nature. And yet… I want to French Kiss strangers, lick handrails and discard my mask. I am done with hand sanitizer, socially distant outside dining and doing my own nails. I hate COVID-19. I weep in frustration about this pandemic-imposed reality. I weep when this killer plague’s statistics…
15
Apr
Apr
“Dad, I said I was ‘sorry.’ Can you please just spank me now?” pleads my daughter with the overwrought exasperation that only a quarantined 16-year-old can muster. Family Court is in session – and will be 24/7 for at least the next month or two. Or more likely three. At least. We’re here all day…
11
Apr
Apr
This post originally appeared on the Parkinson’s Community LA Blog in the fall of 2019. In honor of James Parkinson’s birthday (April 11, 1755) I am reposting it here. My left-hand dances to a beat all its own. It doesn’t need a partner or even music. The digits just flutter. Constantly. Faster when I’m cold,…
18
Mar
Mar
The dishes whir in the dishwasher, the sun retires from this hemisphere. My husband responds to emails, the children collude with their computers to complete work while the dogs nuzzle them. I am alone in the spotless kitchen. I listen to the rain and debate what will sate my soul’s parched tongue. I claim this…
29
Feb
Feb
I love my children. I actually like them sometimes – at least often enough to keep me out of jail and them out of house arrest. Sometimes though, I have to rely on love alone and remind myself that motherhood is a blessing. Children are cute when they’re little and incapable of wiping their own…
29
Feb
Feb
]There are many roads to the Mecca of motherhood. All are bumpy. All lead to the rollercoaster of emotions that is parenthood. The blessed and life-affirming firsts; baby’s first step, first tooth, first love and its inevitable denouement. Then there are the less savory firsts …. first time they lie, their first speeding ticket…. the…
01
Sep
Sep
I am losing my mind. Am I’m losing it to my Parkinson’s Disease? To age? To maladies yet to be diagnosed? I stare into space, trying desperately to remember what was right there, right there, on the tip of my tongue just moments ago. Then it hits me: I have children. It’s not the Parkinson’s…
12
May
May
It’s said that doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is a definition of insanity. But it’s also widely acknowledged that, because randomness makes children feel unsafe, routine is essential to the task of parenting. And, naturally, it’s not a routine unless it’s repeated. Regularly. I routinely ask – nay,…
30
Apr
Apr
“If you’ve got your health, you’ve got everything.” Well, then, I am lacking. I am afflicted. But so are many. My conditions are my constant companions. They’ll shuffle along this mortal coil with me for as long as I shuffle along upon it. But there is a gift in my conditional state: my chronic ailments…
26
Feb
Feb
The ‘must do’ nature of homework sometimes gives us strong-willed sorts pause. If it’s too easy, e.g. Spanish, it’s a waste of time. Too challenging, a longer essay, say, in English… possibly with the Odyssey as its subject… well, then the Frustration Monster and her bestie, Anxiety, rear their raging, irrational heads. “You’re not helping….
06
Feb
Feb
“Mom, let’s go!” Let’s not. I think I’ll stay put. I’m going to take a hard pass on greeting the day. I like my bathroom. It’s nice in here. My lap top and phone batteries are fully charged, there are plenty of towels to cushion the stone floor. These inanimate objects are my true friends….
30
Nov
Nov
I was reminded one crisp, fall Sunday afternoon that pleasure and pain are inextricably linked… My daughter and I venture to Bloomingdales in Century City in search of a Homecoming dress—her first. She falls in love with a rich, emerald green, velvet dress that, when she tries it on, is clearly low where it should…
28
Jan
Jan
“Excuse me sir.” “Yes.” “I think there’s been a mistake.” “Oh?” “Yes. You forgot to charge us for the Arnold Palmers.” The waiter took the check from my hand, “Oh I did. Oh ma’am, oh thank you so much.” “I cannot tell a lie.” “I know, mom.” “I would’ve asked him to correct the bill…
11
Aug
Aug
The vitriol that a teen girl can spew rivals the “fire and fury” two heads of state are currently hurling at each other. And there are days when I think such…. “commentary” … on my appearance… my maternal skills… my very existence …is accurate. Because you, my beloved 13 1/2-year-old, are right: I don’t remember…
21
Jun
Jun
My daughter is fierce. My daughter is not a morning person. Most school and camp activities start between 8-9am. These three facts come into conflict in my house every weekday. The drama involved in waking my daughter often sets a … shall we say… less than positive tone for the day. The raising of the…
24
Mar
Mar
“Even if I got into an Ivy League school, I wouldn’t want to go.” Said my thirteen-year old casually wiping out a decade of my life. We were driving and I had ‘oh so casually’ brought up the subject of the ISEE, the Independent School Entrance Exam she will have to take this fall. My…
18
Dec
Dec
We are a sisterhood of mothers. We fight. For our village. Against our own demons. For all children. We fight glass ceilings and preconceived notions We fight to show you the best part of yourself. We teach you to fight, “go talk to your gym teacher and demand to throw the same weight shotput…
12
Nov
Nov
I was wrong. Turns out that that young onset Parkinson’s Disease starts at 50 not 40. That explains why the medical community hasn’t jumped at the chance to use the term ‘Precocious Onset Parkinson’s Disease’. On the plus side, at least ‘young’ is a descriptor that I can still claim on one front. I’ve been…
22
Oct
Oct
At a recent school meeting our headmaster reported that he’d apologized to the older students for the tenor of this presidential campaign. Unable to use this race as a teachable moment — like normal elections — he’d told the children that adults had failed them – and urged the assembled adolescents to do better. He’s…
14
Oct
Oct
I write for readers. I write in the hope that my private truth might enlighten another’s path. And, if I hit my stride, maybe even ease their burden. I write because I am a writer. I write because the page is my onramp to the highway of this life. I write to know myself. I write…
14
Oct
Oct
“That’s a pretty necklace,” I said to a random woman with a lovely heart pendant who I passed on a bathroom run. “Thank you,” she replied with a smile. And the intersection of our lives was over. I ‘practice’ yoga as much as the next privileged gal in search of a stretch. I think kind…
07
Oct
Oct
“…becoming insolvent or bankrupt” is a definition of failure per Dictionary.com. Our two party political system has failed. We are in the tail end of a presidential campaign between two candidates with the highest unfavorables in history. The resulting negative campaign has been a horror to watch. I read the news as if driving by a car accident…
25
Sep
Sep
I am fifteen… and I am lost. Rudderless. I wheeze a lot. I run slowly but I make it around the track. My friends are older, making me feel unjustifiably wiser. Smart, but sometimes unwilling to grind out the steps necessary for that coveted ‘A’. I sought attention from those whose eyes I should’ve averted….
20
Sep
Sep
“To the left, to the left, everything you own in a box to the left,” my bundle of fierceness and I sang together on the way to school this morning. I could hear my eight year-old rolling his eyes in the back seat. Yes, the satellite radio is back – it took a vacation for…
22
Aug
Aug
I am a failure. My kids turn to the gadget I use to read to watch. I am a failure. My kids are not avid readers. They do not use this device to read multiple books and newspapers simultaneously, but to watch. They binge on Netflix and Pokémon. I am a failure. I am raising…
16
Jun
Jun
“I know what The ‘P’ word is,” my eight year-old announced the other night “Really? Which one?” I asked, an eyebrow arched. “Can I say it?” He asked with an impish smile. I am compelled to mention here that many in my son’s class are second and third children. “Pussy.” He blushed and waited for…
13
Jun
Jun
In my youth I dreamed of growing boobs – now I dream of they’re growing smaller. Miraculously smaller… and perkier. The way I wish the rest of me would shrink without changes in my diet. Magical calorie thinking works in your teens… sometimes even through early adulthood. But once you hit 40, metabolism’s reality hits….
19
May
May
Another year, another Field Day. So off I went to my children’s school. I watched my son for about an hour in the morning then went to a work meeting, returning in the afternoon to watch my daughter. “I did it in 3:18 this year,” she said by way of greeting. “That’s good,” I replied encouragement…
26
Apr
Apr
I am your mother. I am here to hear you so that you’ll know that yours is a voice worthy of being heard. Don’t interrupt, but don’t let this world silence your roar. You are fierce and have a platform from which I hope you can heal some of the gaping wounds of this world….
05
Nov
Nov
I returned from a school meeting around 8 pm the other night. As I walked upstairs I saw the eerie light of a digital screen peeking out from under my daughter’s bedroom door. I opened my tween’s door. “I was listening to music,” she said while unplugging her head phones. “You have an iPod Nano…
02
Nov
Nov
I wake up early every morning to enjoy the quiet of the house before the family rises. My dogs and I head downstairs — after I’ve taken my Synthroid with the requisite eight ounces of water. I open the backdoor releasing ‘the hounds’ to their ‘exterior toilet’ hoping to simultaneously breathe in cool, consciousness-inspiring morning…
28
Oct
Oct
Halloween rivals birthdays as the best day of a child’s celebratory calendar. My children spend hours debating costume options, [My thoughts on why most are nixed are here] and plotting where to trick-or-treat so that they end the evening with more candy than any human should ingest in a year. For those of us charged…
01
Oct
Oct
My daughter just informed me that my efforts at being a successful mom were for naught. Then she walked off in a huff. This occurred after her homework was almost complete, yet 45 minutes before her bedtime. She had plenty of time to enumerate my failings – which she did for about 20 minutes before…
24
Sep
Sep
Staples aired a great commercial in August and September. As an adult male dances through the store’s aisle gathering school supplies, Andy William’s Christmas classic, “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” plays. Genius. By the time the September rolls around I, for one, am done with attending to my children’s needs, trying repeatedly…
17
Sep
Sep
A recent “Last Week Tonight” with John Oliver highlighted the lack of standards for teaching our children about their bodies and how our species reproduces. Yes, it’s true that while parents, teachers, politicians and others debate the Common Core, no one is talking about the lack of standardization amongst various sex education curricula. We use…
10
Sep
Sep
Sadly, for my listening and opining pleasure, music tastes change. “Kids’ Place Live,” “is for little kids,” both my ‘older’ kids grumble should I dare select the station when we’re driving together — a forced intimacy that will remain a constant for at least a few more years. Sadly, driving in silence isn’t going to…
05
Sep
Sep
When my daughter was younger and she allowed “Kids’ Place Live” in the car, I would always turn up the volume when Jonathan Coulton’s “The Princess Who Saved Herself” or Robbie Schaefer’s “Fits Right In” came on because I wanted to raise a fierce daughter. And, while readers know there are times that I lament…
05
May
May
My children will never be world-class athletes. I know this. Because, if either (or both) of them were truly a gifted athlete, that sparkle would’ve shown through by now even though they’re eleven and seven. Sure, there are the outliers like Misty Copeland who didn’t grace ballet until she was 13, but these ‘late bloomers’ are the exception…
02
May
May
“No woman is ever happy with her boobs or her hair,” observed a friend of mine as we tried on t-shirts advertising an upcoming event we’re working on together. And she’s right. Those with curly hair want it straight. As my Drybar stylist noted when I went last… okay, earlier today, “If a woman walks in with…
08
Apr
Apr
Judaism requires that we bury our dead within 48 hours of their passing. This is followed by a week of intense mourning called shiva, Hebrew for ‘seven’. After these nine days, ‘normal’ life is supposed to resume for those who were close to the deceased. This reminds me once again that my practical tribe started in the desert and is…
29
Dec
Dec
As a weekday evening was winding down my daughter insisted on completing the final tasks of her day (collecting homework papers, readying herself for bed) while listening to music on her headphones. She came into my office to get a piece of her homework. “Here, dear,” I said loudly and slowly as I proffered said paper,…
27
Oct
Oct
I was skimming websites and catalogues in search of a Halloween costume for my 10-year-old daughter earlier this month. When I complained that even the ‘doctor’ costume is suggestive my husband told me that I should just add the word ‘whore’ to every costume description leaving me to contemplate various choices such as “Angel-Whore”, “Nurse-Whore”, “Waitress-Whore”, “Teacher-Whore”. If…