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Category: Fret Deliveries

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Tears

Tears

“Do you ever cry?” asked the blue-suited banker as our formal lunch segued from spreadsheets to stories. “I had a very dark weekend when I was first diagnosed.” Reflexively, I share the story of the weekend after my Thursday diagnosis almost five years ago. In truth, I barely cried then – the reality of the diagnosis left me more numb than weepy. “Do you ever cry?” The question spins in my head. Occasionally, my tears flow. When I see yet another skill diminish my eyes well up with thoughts of what used to be.  I type quickly, but not at the near warp speed of a court stenographer that was my habit before my left hand trembled. I rage at… READ MORE

Quarantine Family Court

Quarantine Family Court

“Dad, I said I was ‘sorry.’ Can you please just spank me now?” pleads my daughter with the overwrought exasperation that only a quarantined 16-year-old can muster. Family Court is in session – and will be 24/7 for at least the next month or two. Or more likely three. At least. We’re here all day together. All day. Every day. Together.  We are proof positive that familiarity does, in fact, breed contempt… and conflict… and ennui.  The transgressions add up quickly; this court’s docket can full by mid-morning. “You’ve never been spanked in your life. What are you talking about?” Must I worry about revisionist history on top of everything else? Welcome to QFC — Quarantine Family Court—West Coast Edition.… READ MORE

We Are One

We Are One

Stupidity is hard to tolerate under the best of circumstances. In today’s so-very-far-away-from-even-okay-times my tolerance for the idiotic is nonexistent. Stupidity is now lethal. Our Orange-in-Chief disbanded the White House’s pandemic response office, proposed brutalizing the CDC in Washington, slashed its staff in China. We’ve known that China is an unreliable reporter – their government is known to bend truth to their  preferred narrative – for decades. So, limiting travel from the world’s second largest economy made sense. Why follow that up by refusing to heed the wisdom of our intelligence agencies who telegraphed this scourge’s stateside arrival in late 2019?  Why was  politics once again allowed triumph over policy? Each imagined answer makes me seethe.  Stupidity is dangerous, when… READ MORE

Prescription Hope

Prescription Hope

On November 5, 2015 – the anniversary of Guy Fawkes and his Catholic crew’s attempt to blow up the British Parliament in 1605 – my world was blown up with a diagnosis. “Could it be anything else?”
I asked the head of UCLA’s Movement Disorder Clinic “No, it’s Parkinson’s Disease,”  he replied. There was never denial – I’d known in my gut what science confirmed to my head that morning – but there were several steps required as I grew to accept my new neuro normal.  It’s an adjustment, a process – and, like so much of life, it’s okay for the most part. The sun still rises in the east, and my life continues  – only now it’s with a… READ MORE

Certainty

Certainty

The dishes whir in the dishwasher, the sun retires from this hemisphere. My husband responds to emails, the children collude with their computers to complete work while the dogs nuzzle them.  I am alone in the spotless kitchen. I listen to the rain and debate what will sate my soul’s parched tongue. I claim this transitional hour, when day gives way to night’s quiet dark, as mine the quiet a reward for a cacophonous day. A cup of tea? A glass of wine? Either will do because neither is what I truly crave. It is certainty that is my fave. The sun will rise in the east and set in the west, of that I am sure. As for anything… READ MORE

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