COVID coping mechanisms are copious chez moi. Compulsive cleaning is among the more productive of our pandemic proclivities – one that has revealed actual floor space in our basement. But it is space that reopens an old wound. “Do not even think of asking me to put that monstrosity together,” my husband admonishes, pointing his finger at six large, lumpy burgundy bags strewn across the floor. Sometimes we look for plastic perfection to lighten up the long dark days of winter. Sometimes this is a mistake. A mistake in six plastic parts. Plus, a base upon which the contents of said six bags are assembled. Let me explain. Back in 2018 we were still recovering from a particularly harrowing trip… READ MORE
“Georgia O’Keeffe moved to rural New Mexico, from which she would sign her letters to the people she loved, “from the faraway nearby.” It was a way to measure physical and psychic geography together. Emotion has its geography, affection is what is nearby, within the boundaries of the self. You can be a thousand miles from the person next to you in bed or deeply invested in the survival of a stranger on the other side of the world.” Rebecca Solnit Of late, I feel that my muse, the talent that sometimes I believe is mine, is “faraway nearby,” caught in the purgatory of almost. I read the fragments on my screen and wonder how to connect the thought dots.… READ MORE
“Rocks ahead!” List then keel I tie myself to the wheel “The rocks—we must avoid the rocks!” Distractions: to do lists, grocery lists, lists of lists My ill-crafted vessel lists. Dinner menus, family schedules, work deadlines. I check. I tick. Appointments, Board Meetings, promises on which to deliver My ill crafted vessel keels I check. I tick. Take the pills, inject the medication, research the cure— “The rocks!” Manuscripts, bank statements, partnership agreements The flotsam of my life Bobs in the waves. I float above the dark waters. I am list-less. In darkness. Daylight never saves. I will lose this.
NOMENCLATURE noun A set or system of names or terms, as those used in a particular science or art, by an individual or community, etc. The names or terms comprising a set or system.I love words. Reading them. Speaking them. Words tether me to this world; conversation is how I connect. I’ve written words for other people to speak . I’ve edited words others have written. A highlight of my tenure as a “Parent Tot” teacher was using the word “nomenclature” in an email to my “students,” those just stepping onto the rollercoaster that is parenthood. Nomenclature. Listen to the lilting beauty of that big, juicy word. Now, think about the elegance of its precision. A specific system. Specificity.… READ MORE
Flow. Flow is my idea of heaven. When my mind and body cooperate to create a whole. A whole thought, movement … anything that is complete, that is heaven. When my thoughts flow — not in fragments as is their habit – but formed in whole – albeit imperfect— cloth before they reach my mouth. Or my hand, which in my heaven, cooperates so that I can record these whole thoughts as quickly as they… flow. Such heavenly bliss is rare in this stage of my life. Everything seems fragmented. My jobs – there are three, all “part time.” My affections – all three children are in transition and the dog woke me up at 5 AM today. Nothing flows… READ MORE